


you're trouble for my gay heart

by whochanwoo



Series: times jeno thinks jaemin lives up to his "special friend" title [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Hugs, Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin Are Best Friends, M/M, Making Out, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Soft Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Sort Of, Tickle Fights, attempted humour, everyone but nomin + hyuck appeared for like 3 seconds, i think i have more to tag but irdk, nothing serious tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25385467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whochanwoo/pseuds/whochanwoo
Summary: “I’m gay.”Jeno squints, blinks, and nods. He holds out his right hand to Jaemin for a handshake, smiling innocently.“Hi gay, I’m Jeno.”
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: times jeno thinks jaemin lives up to his "special friend" title [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838488
Comments: 68
Kudos: 487





	1. Trouble #1 & #2

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to my nomin spinoff to the markhyuck series!!!! this will only be ard 4-5 chapters :) enjoy reading, kids!

Some fans would say Mark and Donghyuck were the perfect pair of best friends. And it’s not like he wants to compete with them or anything, but Jaemin would beg to differ. Looking at his best friend now, ordering off of the menu from a famous Chinese takeaway restaurant, Jaemin would like to think they’re the perfect ones.

See, Jaemin and Jeno have never fought. They have a tacit understanding that unites them together. Their compatibility rates according to astrology were really low but they managed to barrel through that and form a bond stronger than any other. They complete each other. Jeno pays attention to the little things Jaemin does and the little quirks he has. Likewise, Jaemin pays attention to Jeno too. They’re perfect as best friends.

On some days where they’re seated next to each other on the couch watching a sad movie, Jeno goes back and forth between laughing at Jaemin and consoling him. At the end, though, he’ll always—always!—wipe Jaemin’s tears away and tip his chin up with his fingers. Jeno would smile down at him and tickle under his chin. Jaemin would feel like a cat, like Bongsik (Jeno’s favourite), and he’d preen even though he knows he looks awful with bloodshot eyes and runny nose. 

Jeno makes Jaemin feel beautiful. It’s nice because Jaemin has his moments where he feels like utter shit. Jeno would laugh in his face and casually state that the only person he thinks is more handsome than him is Jaemin. On rare days where he knows he looks beautiful, it doesn’t necessarily mean he feels it coming true, but Jeno’s approval will always make him feel better. 

Sometimes, though, Jeno gets on his nerves too. In a good way. Or maybe not. 

“Jeno, I’m not in the mood,” Jaemin grumbles.

“Just Ramen. That’s it, please! I’m really hungry,” Jeno begs. “Please! I love you!”

“Go make it on your own,” Jaemin hisses.

“Oh, I see…” Jeno takes a step back, smirking. “I interrupted your little session, didn’t I?” 

Jaemin frowns. “What?”

“You know, your little…” Jeno’s words trail off as his explanation gets replaced by vague gestures down by his crotch. It looks dangerously like jerking off. 

“You sick pervert!” Jaemin hurls a pillow at Jeno. 

“What?” Jeno shrieks in protest. “It’s a natural phenomenon, I understand! You don’t have to be shy about it.” 

“Wait until I tell the Czennies about this!” 

“You tell them this and I’ll tell them you jerked off on a Thursday night when Jisung’s out busy recording for This And That!” 

“Fuck you!”

“No, fuck you!” 

“Oh, you’re cursing me now? What happened to your puppy eyes and your ‘Jaemin, make me Ramen, please, I love you’?” 

Jeno falls on top of Jaemin once he remembers his purpose for being in Jaemin’s room. He squirms and continues to beg for food, whining, pouting, acting cute just to get Jaemin out of bed. 

“You can jerk off after this, I’ll leave you alone,” Jeno pleads with a pout. That seems to strike a nerve because Jaemin pushes Jeno off of him immediately.

“No, get the fuck out of my room.” Jaemin slams the door shut in Jeno’s face.

It would have been easy to get pissed off at Jeno. He has always been extremely skilled at annoying Jaemin on his bad days. Once, he spilled water on Jaemin’s clothes—in public—but what he did after that calmed the fires before it could fan up. Jeno bought Jaemin a whole new outfit straight away. He apologised countless times and even paid for Jaemin’s meal.

Jeno knows whenever Jaemin’s about to get mad, and he takes extra care not to let it happen. Seriously, it’s ridiculous how many times Jaemin almost burst out in rage—not necessarily at Jeno—back in their trainee days, but Jeno’s always there to calm him down.

This time, what Jeno does is he makes his noodles himself, and he makes an extra bowl for Jaemin. He knocks on Jaemin’s door before cracking it open just a tad.

“Jaemin,” Jeno calls out, his voice sounding nonchalant.

Jaemin looks up from his phone, meeting the sight of Jeno flashing his signature smize. The curse hanging at the tip of his tongue disperses as soon as Jeno tells him he prepared food. Wordlessly, Jaemin accompanies his friend at the dining table. He slurps on his noodles, humming in satisfaction to let Jeno know he appreciates this.

Jeno pays attention to Jaemin just as much as he does. And that is what sets them apart from any other pair of best friends. They don’t like calling each other best friends because they’re scared the other members would feel insulted. At the back of his mind, though, Jaemin knows Jeno’s the best. Even now, Jeno knows Jaemin had a shitty day.

Nothing went right today, and even though Jeno wasn’t there and couldn’t have possibly known, he still recognises something’s wrong.

“Renjun told me earlier today that water’s wet,” Jeno starts off.

“We are not having this discussion,” Jaemin states and finishes what Jeno started in record-breaking time.

There’s silence for a minute or two. Jeno chomps on his noodles and is now slowly sipping on the soup. “So… Want to watch My ID Is Gangnam Beauty?”

“Yes, thank you.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin loves his friends. He really does, but he’s more of the physical type. He’s there when they need hugs or some babying they missed out on in their childhood. He’s there when they need a shoulder to cry on and deft fingers to wipe their tears away. 

Jeno loves his friends too. There’s only one difference between them, and it’s the fact that Jeno doesn’t show it often. They both show it through their actions, but Jeno pretends like he doesn’t care most of the time. He cares the most, actually. Jeno stands back from time to time, sees how everyone’s doing, and when he knows they’re okay, he goes back to clowning around. 

One thing about Jeno is that he has so much love to give, but he’s shy about it. And it’s honestly cute. When he’d stutter and deny the truth is cute. It’s heartwarming, too, because Jeno always listens.

That’s how Trouble #1 started for Jaemin. Donghyuck came by their dorms at ass o’clock one night and asked for advice. Jeno was the one who sat Donghyuck down on the couch and nodded to Donghyuck’s rants about Mark and how he thinks Mark’s in love with him. 

“Sorry, go back, please,” Jeno cuts in, waving his hands around to emphasise on going back.

“I think Mark Lee’s in fucking love with me,” Donghyuck repeats, unabashed. 

“Like, romantically?” Jeno squeaks out.

He may be good at listening, but that doesn’t mean he’s always good at giving feedback. Donghyuck huffs out in frustration and slaps his thigh hard.

“No, politically—of course romantically! Dumbass.” Donghyuck jumps when Jaemin creeps up behind him and blows in his ear. “Na Jaemin, I need your help on something.” 

“Jeno’s helping you, isn’t he?” Jaemin’s attempt at fleeing meets failure when Donghyuck pulls him down onto the couch in the middle of him and Jeno. “Seriously, I just wanted to make tea.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was telling Jeno! I made Mark some tea ‘cause he had a cough and I don’t know, man, it’s different.” 

Jaemin turns to face Donghyuck, leaning back against Jeno who willingly hangs his arms around Jaemin to accommodate him. He hums as he listens to Donghyuck’s story again. Jeno who has already heard the whole thing resorts to playing with Jaemin’s hair to get rid of his boredom. 

“Look, Donghyuck,” Jeno speaks up, “Right now, there’s too little to conclude anything. He has always been more religious than us, there’s a big chance he’s not into guys.”

“Yeah, but—”

“And!” Jeno holds a hand up, shooting his panicked-stricken friend a look to let him finish. His hand drops right back on Jaemin’s shoulders. “If you think something’s up with him, you should wait for him. I don’t think you currently have feelings for Mark so it’s all just him going through this. Let him. You, on the other hand, should do some thinking.” 

“What do you—”

“What Jeno’s trying to say is that Mark needs time, baby,” Jaemin cuts in. “You do, too. You’re panicked for some reason about a damn theory that has no actual proof, Hyuck, and you should ask yourself why. Don’t tell me it’s ‘cause it’s Mark. This is about you too.” 

What does this have to do about Jaemin’s Trouble #1? It leaves Jaemin questioning stuff. He’s sure he’s not gay, he has never been into guys, but he’s never been into girls either. He hasn’t paid attention to his sexuality for years now. When his mother told 7-year-old him he’d settle down with a wife one day, he’d nodded along.

Now, however, Jaemin tries to confirm his preference. 

Watching My ID Is Gangnam Beauty should have been a stress reliever. Instead, he’s more stressed than a few episodes ago. He wants to fawn over Kang Mirae, over Hyun Soo-ah or the other girls in the show, but he can’t. He hasn’t noticed it before just how unaffected he is at the presence of girls. 

“Oh, she’s pretty,” Jeno comments offhandedly at a scene of Hyun Soo-ah laughing. Jaemin gazes a few seconds too long at that. Jeno turns to him and asks, “What?”

“Nothing.” Jaemin shakes his head. 

Then, when Do Kyungseok smiles, comes, “Oh, he’s handsome.” 

Jaemin looks again at Jeno, face impassive but mind reeling with a lot of incomprehensible thoughts. Pensively, Jaemin responds with, “He is handsome.” 

When Jeno nods along dismissively, the anxiety bubbling in Jaemin fades away. He remembers just a few hours ago, remembers how cool Jeno’s response was to the possibility of Mark and Donghyuck liking guys. 

Jaemin tests out the waters. He wants to confirm Jeno’s stance on this. He doesn’t exactly know why it’s so important to him that Jeno supports everything other than heterosexuality, but he might have an inkling. With a gulp, Jaemin reaches for the remote and pauses the drama.

Jeno whips his head in confusion. “What’s up?”

“What do you think about Mark and Donghyuck?” Jaemin asks.

“I think they’re confused.” Not a good answer. Still too vague.

“I think they’re scared,” Jaemin counters back.

“I know they’re scared. If what Donghyuck said was true, Mark should be terrified out of his fucking wits.” Jeno crosses his arms across his chest. “Donghyuck should really pull himself together and confess.”

There’s the answer Jaemin wanted. He wanted a clear proof of approval. He wanted Jeno to be just as perfect as he has always been; loving, caring, and supportive. Jeno has never been one who judges people for any reason at all. He easily goes with people’s flows because he knows how different people are. He respects that. He has always been a respectful child. 

Knowing that, Jaemin snickers and shakes his head out of good will. “You wanna bet on who confesses first, nerd?” 

“You’re on, shitface.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Donghyuck opens up to Jaemin and Jeno one day after practice, telling them about how Mark had kissed his hand during one of their movie nights. So casually, Mark had kissed the back of Donghyuck’s hand, but they all know how unusual that is. Jaemin tries not to show surprise. Meanwhile, Jeno freezes. 

“See! Now do you believe me?” 

After discussing it—Jeno tells Donghyuck to note it down but continue to observe—they go back to practice. It’s a hard job keeping this from the others. With Chenle and Renjun’s nosiness and Jisung’s inability to keep secrets, Jaemin and Jeno are left to keep their opinions in until they get home. 

Jeno pulls Jaemin into his room all too suddenly after they’ve showered. Immediately, Jaemin lays back on Jeno’s bed and snuggles up against the pillows. Jeno smacks him in the ass once and tells him to wake up.

“I’ve got something important to say, lazy ass.” 

“What is it?” Jaemin groans out. “I just want to sleep.” 

“It’s related to Mark and Donghyuck.”

That does the trick. Jaemin instantly gets up, pushing himself up to lean against the headboard of Jeno’s bed. He watches as his friend takes a seat next to him, hands fiddling nervously, eyes darting around in uncertainty. 

“Jeno, what is it?” Jaemin prompts him to start speaking.

“Okay, see we don’t call each other best friends,” Jeno mutters, “but we call each other special friends. In every interview asking about us, we’d call each other a special friend. You mean a lot to me, Jaemin.” 

“Yes, and?” 

Jaemin, at this point, didn’t know he’d be faced with Trouble #2. This trouble wasn’t as indirect as the last. This one made Jaemin let free some reins he didn’t know he had when it comes to his special friend right here. It’s trouble that directly hits Jaemin in the chest, but its effect stays hidden for a long time. 

“If—and I’m saying it’s if!—if in the future we like each other, let’s promise to tell each other,” Jeno says. 

Jeno looks up from his hands and into Jaemin’s eyes, obviously jittering from the impact of his own words. It’s not easy for Jeno to say such things so outrightly, but it’s even harder for Jaemin to hear Jeno say such things so outrightly. It’s not like Jeno to come forth like this. 

“Like, romantically?” Jaemin squeaks out.

“No, politically.” Jeno smizes for a second or two before snapping into a frown. “Yes, of course romantically!” 

“So you’re saying that if we like each other—”

“Yeah, just if.”

“We should tell each other—”

“Yes.”

“Even though I would be scared of your reaction—”

“That’s the thing!” Jeno exclaims. He calms down and clears his throat in awkwardness when Jaemin simply deadpans. “That’s the thing, let’s promise not to be awkward or judge each other. Let’s not get scared of each other.”

“Oh,” Jaemin offers as a response.

“Let’s learn from Mark and Donghyuck. You’re a special friend of mine, and I wouldn’t ever want to keep secrets from you.” 

He’s perfect. Jaemin thinks Jeno’s perfect. Such a perfect friend. Sure, Jeno may have his aggressive outbursts from time to time, and maybe those outbursts are harder to deal with than Jaemin’s inconsistent mood swings, but Jeno’s still so perfect. As a person, as a friend, as a man. 

“I wouldn’t want to keep secrets from you too,” Jaemin mumbles, nodding. He chuckles as he thinks about this agreement. “Sure. I can agree to that. When you fall for me, pretty boy, don’t be afraid to tell me.” 

“Not when, if,” Jeno corrects him.

“Are you kidding? I’m such a catch, you’d fall for me soon.” 

“And I’m an even bigger catch.” Jeno snorts. 

“I have a bigger dick,” Jaemin retorts even though he really doesn’t know if it’s true.

“No, you don’t have a bigger dick, you are a bigger dick,” Jeno argues back. 

“Fuck off,” Jaemin, for the lack of better words, turns to lame curses. 

“This is my room.” Jeno bursts out laughing, finding this situation funny even though they’ve done this a million times. 

He’s always the first to relent, always the first to laugh it off or switch the topic to something. Jeno’s always the one who makes sure they never fight. 

Jaemin wants to question why. He wants to, but he doesn’t want Jeno to stop taking up this role of mediating things between them. They’ve fought with everyone else in the dorms. Jeno’s fought Renjun a couple of times, he’s fought Jisung multiple times, he has physically and verbally fought with Donghyuck almost every few months. Chenle—he’s too giggly and smiley to fight with; no one has ever fought with Chenle. 

Likewise, Jaemin has fought with everyone too. Everyone but Chenle and Jeno. 

It seems as if Jeno doesn’t want any fights between them. On a day where Jaemin has just finished a round of useless vulgar exchange with another member, Jeno wouldn’t say anything if he comes into his room and lays on the bed for a while. Jeno lets him. On another day where Jeno decides to walk off from getting physical with another member, Jaemin would be waiting in the kitchen with food. 

“Cuddle me,” Jaemin demands, opening his arms wide for Jeno. 

“No—” Jeno tries to protest, he tries to get out of his own room but Jaemin pulls him down with a giggle.

“My baby, you don’t want to cuddle with me? You’re my baby!” Jaemin cooes, giggling even harder when Jeno’s uncaring mask breaks and his famous eye smile appears. Jaemin makes baby sounds when Jeno laughs. 

“Na Jaemin, seriously—”

“What’s that, my baby? Huh? You don’t want to cuddle?” 

Jaemin breaks into a fit of laughter, pulling Jeno closer after he sees his friend going red in the face. A million times he does this, a million times Jeno blushes. When Jaemin gets tired of it, he releases Jeno with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

Jeno has his head on Jaemin’s chest, eyes glaring sharply as he wishes for Jaemin to stub a toe against the couch. They stare at each other just as so in silence, Jaemin’s eyes already drooping, mind drifting. Trouble #2 invades Jaemin’s mind right as he dozes off. He thinks then, that it wouldn’t be hard to fall in love with Jeno. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyyy thats chapter 1 for you to introduce what set off this story's summary and to introduce nomin as a pair. i rlly hope you'd like this hehehehdhdh i already wrote 3 chapters at once, and im halfway to finishing chapter 4 right now. will update every 2-5 days! 
> 
> hope you like the free, lighthearted mood in this fic as compared to the markhyuck one. 
> 
> please do leave comments cos im a slut for comments seriously. look forward to next chapter where jaemin drops some bomb news on jeno lmfao
> 
> my [IG](https://www.instagram.com/warmdaelight/) | [TWT](https://twitter.com/jenoryy)  
> 


	2. Trouble #3, #4 & #5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to chapter 2, kids,,, enjoy!

Let’s get right to the point. Trouble #3 comes in the form of a realisation so strong it’s unsettling. It’s that time of the year again, time for music festivals. Both units—Dream and 127—are gathered together once again and they’ve been practising till their sweats could polish the floor. 

Jaemin sits against the wall on the floor with Jeno leaning heavily against his side. Their bodies radiate heat but neither of them mind. Doyoung and Jaehyun approach them with bottles of water, telling them to drink up. Because he has the whole room in his view, Jaemin watches each and every single one of his members. 

“Jeno,” Jaemin calls out, sighing.

“What?” Jeno turns to him.

“Can I tell you something?” 

“What?” Jeno repeats.

“I want to go home.” 

Jeno snickers. He gets up a moment after to bounce towards the others and joke around. Jaemin knows it’s just him being the drama whore he is, wanting to catch insights about Mark and Donghyuck himself. 

Jaemin goes back to watching the rest. It’s then that his suspicions have been confirmed. With this many boys in the room sweating their asses off, panting and play-fighting like kids, Jaemin realises that it’s what he wants. He can’t imagine settling down with a woman. He can imagine playful brawls with his significant other, harsh banters and rough jokes. He can imagine sitting next to a man and stargazing together on a balcony. 

He takes one good look at Mark chasing Donghyuck around because of something and decides that he wants to date a boy. He wants to hold calloused hands the same size as his or bigger, he wants to be the one stealing the hoodies, he wants to be the little spoon within muscular arms. Jaemin wants to stare at someone’s lips, look down at their Adam’s apple bobbing before leaning in for a kiss. 

He cannot imagine looking into the eyes of a woman and telling her he’d risk it all for her. He can’t. No matter how hard he tries, no matter how much he tries to recall what flimsy experience he’s had from acting in a drama. 

“You okay?” Jeno asks again when he comes trotting back. Jaemin startles out of his reverie and smiles wide like he’s found out the secret to the universe. Maybe he has. “Jaemin?”

“Perfect.” Jaemin pulls Jeno down and hugs him tight, giggling. “I love you. Say it back. I love you.” 

“N-No—” Jeno tries to escape but curses when he can’t. They share the same height, same positions in the group, and apparently the same amount of strength too. Jeno can’t peel him off completely just as Jaemin can’t get Jeno to comply immediately. “Jaemin—”

“Break’s over!” The choreographer calls out.

Jeno squawks when Jaemin doesn’t let him go, only laughing harder when his friend gives up. Jeno’s face scrunches up as he flinches from the jabs in his sides. The tickling sends him over the edge, makes him grab for Jaemin’s hand to bite down on it.

Jeno shoots up instantly when he’s given the chance. His friend gives chase immediately, tackling him down till they’re tumbling around on the floor again. 

“What’s wrong, my baby?” Jaemin cooes. “Huh? Trying to run away, baby?” 

Jeno’s laughing so hard he’s wheezing. His hands fly all over the place to push Jaemin’s insistent fingers away. They wrestle a little more, unknowing to the fact that the older ones are watching them while laughing. Jeno relents when he’s almost out of breath.

“Alright, alright—Jaemin—fuck—I’ll give you a hug! I’ll give you a hug! Stop! Stop!” Jeno shrieks.

Jaemin actually stops. He pants, waiting expectantly for Jeno to make a move. With a loud groan of complaint, his friend wraps his arms around Jaemin tight. 

It’s these types of hugs Jaemin imagines receiving. Big bear hugs that leave no room for him to feel or notice anything other than the individual hugging him. He reciprocates the embrace as he thinks about Jeno’s scrunched up smile from before. 

“My baby,” he mutters into Jeno’s shoulder. He smirks then, pulling away. “But I didn’t say I want a hug.”

Jeno freezes up. He stutters as he recalls what it was Jaemin wanted from him, “Of course I lo-love you too.” 

“Look at you, you little nerd. Can’t live without this pretty face, can you?” Jaemin taunts.

“No, shitface, look at you. Can’t live without my validation, can you?” Jeno shoots right back. 

“Okay, let’s not fight on such a good day,” the choreographer interrupts. He tells them to get in formation all the while pretending Jaemin didn’t just call Jeno his baby. 

Trouble #3 for Jaemin is the realisation that he likes boys, that he likes receiving big hugs, and that Jeno’s a boy who gives him amazing big hugs. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The last Trouble was a hard hit for Jaemin, but it was easy to forget. Jeno will always be his source of comfort, so finding out that Jaemin appreciates especially his hugs isn’t anything too much to handle. Trouble #4, though, was quite literally a hard pill to swallow. It’s the first week of 2020, which means the cold has subsided enough to be out. Jeno’s deadset on dragging Jaemin out of bed to cycle with him.

He doesn’t put up a fight this time only because his body has been sore these days. Halfway through their trail, Jaemin has to stop when his head pounds against his skull. Jeno, like the good friend he is, rushes off to buy painkillers. He comes back with a worried expression plastered onto his face.

Conveniently, Jaemin stops right at a park. There’s a bench they could sit on, and a parking lot for bicycles just a few hundred meters away. They take a seat on the bench with a sigh. Jaemin observes Jeno’s side profile, watching him scan the area with hawk eyes. Right as Jeno turns to his friend, Jaemin looks back down at the pill in his hand.

“How much was this?” Jaemin croaks out.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jeno waves it away.

Not very far away, a couple looks over the railing and a beautiful flower bed full of daisies greet them back. The couple giggles together, and they lean into each other’s presence. Jaemin gulps, aware that Jeno’s seeing the same thing he’s eyeing.

“Jeno,” Jaemin calls out.

“Yeah?” Jeno cranes his head to face his friend, eyes piercing into Jaemin’s own ones. Even with that helmet on his head, Jaemin could practically hear the gears in Jeno’s head turning. 

“I’m gay.” 

Boom. Jaemin launches a nuclear missile without setting a target prior to doing so and he’s now hoping for the world to survive the impact of it. Jaemin is nervous. His heart beats in his throat, and anxiety pulses down in his stomach. He waits as the gears in Jeno’s head turn even faster, even more vigorously than before. 

Jeno squints, blinks, and nods. He holds out his right hand to Jaemin for a handshake, smiling innocently.

“Hi gay, I’m Jeno.” 

He didn’t know what Jeno’s reaction would have been, but this wasn’t what he expected. Jaemin can’t bring himself to get mad. Instead, he feels relieved that Jeno’s so cool about it. He even made a joke. The lump in Jaemin’s throat disappears, the anxiety vanishes. 

Jaemin chuckles, shoulders bouncing choppily as Jeno starts to laugh along. He’s glad. He’s glad his best friend supports him. Jaemin folds his body in half, leaning forward to duck his head in between his knees. He laughs again.

“Fuck, Jeno, I fucking love you,” Jaemin manages to squeeze out in between an airy chuckle. 

“Back to you.” Jeno titters. “Now take that damn pill, you’re going to get another migraine.” 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jaemin pops the pill in his mouth before downing gulp after gulp of water. It gets stuck in his throat and even though Jaemin feels it there, he doesn’t do anything about it.

Just as the pill persists to stay in place, Jaemin’s racing thoughts about Jeno being absolutely perfect persists to make a home in his mind. Trouble #4 is merely the start to Jaemin’s utter doom.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin wakes up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep so he drowsily trudges into the kitchen. With a glass of water in his hand, Jaemin stands by the window in the dark and watches the city lights from afar. He taps on the window at a light blinking in the sky. It’s probably a plane.

Jaemin startles when a hand snakes over his shoulder before another hand wraps around the front of his waist. The hand grabs his glass of water, making Jaemin look.

“Oh, it’s just you,” Jaemin murmurs.

Jeno takes a sip of water before placing it on the counter next to them. He hums as he leans forward against Jaemin’s back. He taps on the window where the blinking lights are, tittering as he does so.

“What are you thinking?” Jeno mutters after a while. The bass in his voice reverberates in Jaemin’s whole physique, making him want to shiver. He suppresses it, though, when Jeno turns to him to wait for an answer. “Jaemin?”

Jaemin does some recalling. He organises his messy thoughts from before and picks out the most crucial one. Resting his head against Jeno’s, Jaemin sighs.

“When will I be able to find someone?” He whispers. 

“Someone?” Jeno echoes questioningly.

“Someone to date. Someone to love. Someone to settle down with. A significant someone,” Jaemin explains. “I can’t find someone while I’m an idol, and by the time we’re done, we’ll be old. Plus, you know how our country is.” 

“Mhm?” Jeno hums sleepily, prompting his friend to go on.

“And I’m just scared I’ll die alone.” Jaemin’s tone is laced with emotions so strong, emotions like loneliness, sadness, and helplessness. 

“Don’t say that,” Jeno softly chastises. 

“But it’s true,” Jaemin retorts, tone unchanging.

“No, it’s not,” Jeno says resolutely. “I’m here with you, am I not? You think I’d leave in the future? Never. You’re stuck with this pretty boy for life whether or not you find a boyfriend.” 

“You’re too ugly for me,” Jaemin whines. 

“Excuse me?” Jeno acts insulted just for the joke to play out. 

Jaemin cackles. “Just kidding. All my babies are handsome boys.” 

“Babies? I thought I was your only baby.” Jeno pulls away from Jaemin, pouting as he walks out of the kitchen. 

Jaemin laughs as he tries to console a sulky Jeno, glad that his friend manages to cheer him up even when he’s thinking about one of his scariest fears yet. Before they’re completely out of the kitchen, Jaemin pulls Jeno closer and hugs him tight. He buries his face in the crook of Jeno’s neck and sighs in contentment. 

“You’re like a cat,” Jeno announces with a laugh.

“Do you miss your cats that much? You want me to purr like a real cat for you? Huh? Want me to respond when you call me kitty?” Jaemin teases him.

“Hm, kinky,” Jeno responds.

“Jeno Lee!” Jaemin swats him in the arm, frowning. Jeno bursts out laughing.

Jaemin’s last Trouble—Trouble #5—happens when they separate to go into their own rooms. He catches himself wishing he didn’t have to leave Jeno’s side. He wishes he could snuggle up in Jeno’s bed and fall asleep to Jeno’s low voice whispering him into a state of peaceful slumber. 

Trouble #5 is what makes Jaemin fall into absolute devastation. Along with that, all the other Troubles play a part. It’s not the fact that he’s gay nor is it the fact that he may never find someone to settle down with that leaves him in such despair. It’s the thought that day by day, the more he sees Jeno smile at him and sees his eyes disappear behind pretty crescents, the more Jaemin’s heart flutters.

Jaemin likes Jeno, and he’s afraid he’s tipping dangerously around the line of falling in love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jaemin, coming out: im gay  
> jeno, in his head: dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it  
> jeno:  
> jeno: hi gay im jeno
> 
> //
> 
> hope you liked this chapter uh ha ha. i was genuinely surprised seeing people already leaving kudos for chapter 1 i appreciate that thank you so much 😔❤️ i wont disappoint yall uwu 
> 
> next chapter jaemin drops an EVEN BIGGER bomb on jeno. next chapter is my fave one so far so hehe just a heads up. also i know i said this would be 4-5 chapters long but it may be pushed to 6 (maybe 7). hope thats okay 
> 
> dont hesitate to leave comments if you've got any cos i love them. if u wanna talk abt nomin or make a new friend hmu on my [IG](https://www.instagram.com/warmdaelight/) | [TWT](https://twitter.com/jenoryy)  
> 


	3. Trouble #Jeno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up :)

For months now, Jaemin tries his best to act like nothing's wrong. He busies himself with practise and everything else. He successfully fools everyone, including Jeno, but he can never fool himself. He never slips, has never shown anything out of the norm. He knows he will one day, but he didn’t know it would happen so soon.

He catches Jeno texting Yeeun in the van driving them back home. She congratulates him for winning first place in a music show for Ridin’ but it doesn’t just end there. She goes on, asking him about schedules and more. 

Of course Jaemin would get jealous. He’s a Leo through and through, and even though he wishes to suppress it, sometimes this mild possessiveness shows in his actions. Like now when Jaemin sidles up closer to Jeno and demands for attention. He snatches Jeno’s phone away and blinks innocently at his friend’s surprised expression.

“Jaemin, give it back.” Jeno stretches his hand out as he asks for his phone back.

“Jeno, pay me some attention,” Jaemin pouts. 

The phone in his hands goes off with multiple dings, more messages from Yeeun. Jaemin glances down at the phone as severe irritation bubbles deep within his system. He looks back up at Jeno with a smile when the phone goes silent, not knowing that Jeno noticed him being genuinely annoyed. 

If it’s one thing Jeno will always do without any hesitation is to calm Jaemin down. If Jaemin’s mad, he’ll be there. If Jaemin’s annoyed, he’ll be there. 

“What will you do for me in return?” Jeno smirks. He actually is smirking. 

“I’ll purr for you.” Jaemin’s face practically lights up when Jeno decides to entertain him and his bullshit. He’s so happy about this he tries to purr almost immediately.

Jeno loves it. No, he doesn’t love the purring because Jaemin can’t do it no matter how hard he tries, but Jeno loves the humour surrounding it. He laughs as Jaemin tries and tries again to emit that low sound. 

“I don’t want you to purr for me.” Jeno stops him when he wanted to purr again. “That’s your kink, not mine.”

Jaemin slaps him in the chest. “Stop sexualising everything I do.” 

“Jaemin, we won today. You should be happy. Why were you annoyed?” 

“He’s jealous,” Chenle’s head pops in between the both of them. Jeno jolts in his seat as Jaemin whips his head fast. “Jaemin Hyung is jealous.”

“Shut up,” Jaemin snaps. 

The atmosphere thickens then, and Jaemin curses his luck. He doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t want to expose himself this soon. What makes it worse is that Jeno doesn’t seem to find it weird, like Jaemin has always been one to hog his attention. It makes Jaemin feel like he’s been too clingy. 

Once they’re home, they take turns to shower. Jaemin plops onto his bed right after he’s done. Jisung comes in with a towel hanging around his neck, clicking his tongue when he can’t find his phone.

“I think it’s outside,” Jaemin provides monotonously.

“Hyung, you feeling alright?” Jisung chuckles. “You don’t look so good.”

“Jisung, I think I’m not fit to be an idol.” 

Jisung certainly did not expect that. His response comes as a form of an awkward pause, confused blinking, followed by him drawling out a long vowel in the result of not knowing what to say. He hesitates as he takes step by step to sit on Jaemin’s bed.

“Um, why?” Jisung asks.

As expected, if it isn’t Jeno he’s outing his troubles to, it wouldn’t help as much. Nevertheless, Jaemin gives Jisung a chance, seeing as how the younger one is still here and is still trying. However, Jaemin can’t tell Jisung about him being gay. Only Jeno knows that.

“I feel like I’m lacking behind sometimes.” Jaemin sighs.

“Is it because of the dance thing? Hyung, we were only joking whenever we brought that up. You still memorise the dances in the end, so there’s no problem.” Jisung scratches the back of his head as he scrunches his nose up. He’s thinking of something. “We all appreciate you, okay? Dream wouldn’t be here without you.” 

“Thanks, Jisungie.” Jaemin grins just for the sake of it. He gives Jisung a good pat on the shoulder and pretends he already feels better.

He’s not completely lying because he does feel slightly better. What Jisung said is true. Without him, Dream wouldn’t be wherever they are now. This isn’t him being conceited, it’s just the truth. Dream wouldn’t be wherever they are now if not for everyone’s contribution. 

“Cheer up, Hyung.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“What’s this I hear about you thinking you’re not fit to be an idol?” Jeno approaches Jaemin who was lazing around on bed. He offers Jaemin a cute grin, eyes disappearing again as it takes the shape of crescents. Jaemin doesn’t respond. “Kitty?” 

Jaemin glares. “I thought that wasn’t your kink?” 

“You look like a little kitten curling up like that.” Jeno gestures to the position Jaemin’s taken up on the bed; curled up into himself in a fetal position. “Do you want to tell me anything?”

“Yes,” Jaemin sighs. 

He’s not in love yet, but he’s getting there. Add to that, really fast. He’s on the verge of falling so deeply in love with the little things regarding Jeno that he’s honestly ready to risk it all. The way Jeno’s there for him whenever he calls, the way Jeno supports him. The way Jeno adjusts his spectacles while eating, the way Jeno has to take a second to process the taste of a new dish Jaemin cooked for him. The way Jeno will always come bounding to him eventually after he’s extracted himself from the group. 

They’ve agreed not to keep secrets from each other way before this, and Jaemin agreed to it. He shouldn’t go back on his words now. No matter what, he’ll never go back on his words when it comes to Jeno. Jaemin sits up on the bed and waits for Jeno to come sit in front of him.

“Does it have anything to do with you being gay?” Jeno asks first to help. He won’t put Jaemin through the trouble of forcing his words out.

“Sort of?” Jaemin responds with uncertainty. “But before I tell you, can I get a hug first? I don’t know if you’d want to hug me again after that.”

Jeno thinks the reasoning is weird, but he complies either way. He crawls closer and drops his entire weight on Jaemin, making the latter groan from the impact. Jeno wraps his arms around Jaemin’s shoulders and squeezes. Jeno squishes one side of his cheeks against Jaemin’s shoulders, breath forced out of him when Jaemin tightens his hold. 

“Okay, ready?” Jeno goes back to sitting.

“Jeno, truth is…” Jaemin trails off for a second or two, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He vigorously scratches a spot on his forehead as his heart and stomach flips again and again out of trepidation. He’s so scared he might vomit. “Truth is… I’m falling in love with you.” 

There he goes. He puts his entire friendship at risk just because he was stupid enough to start liking his best friend. The best he’s ever gotten in his entire life, and he treats it like a belated coming-of-age slash romance teenage movie. Jaemin clenches his fists and waits for Jeno’s response.

“You don’t have to be scared of me, Jaemin,” Jeno mutters as gently as he can. It’s like Jaemin would shatter into a million pieces if he didn’t lower the volume of his voice. Jeno takes Jaemin’s clenched fists in his hands and eases them open. “Thank you for telling me. That must have been really terrifying for you.”

Tears all too suddenly decide to well up in Jaemin’s eyes. He nods, head still ducked down so as to avoid his best friend’s eyes. Having none of that, Jeno lifts Jaemin’s chin up with the tip of his fingers. He smiles.

Without any hesitation, Jeno tugs Jaemin closer to him before giving him a hug. “Who said I wouldn’t want to hug you after this?”

That triggers the sobbing. Jaemin cries till his eyes swell and his nose glows red. All the while, Jeno watches him as he offers words of comfort. Jaemin shakes his head as he sobs, stuttering on a breath. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin pushes out, still heaving sob after sob in overwhelming sadness.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine.” Jeno wipes the tears away as soon as it spills. He doesn’t let even a single teardrop escape his attention. “You don’t have to apologise to me. I won’t treat you any different, I will never let this affect our friendship, so you don’t have to feel sorry.” 

“R-Really?” Jaemin stutters out

Jaemin looks up right then, and Jeno’s heart breaks seeing the light reflecting off of the tears in Jaemin’s eyes. His heart clenches in his chest when Jaemin’s blue hair falls over his eyes, the tips getting wet in the process. He knows what liking someone feels like, and he knows how scary it is, which is why he’s sad. He has never and will never wish for his special friend to go through something so heartbreaking.

“This is all about you, okay?” Jeno reassures Jaemin. “If you want me to give you space, I’ll give it to you. If you want me to treat you as per normal, I’ll do it. Whatever you want. I just… I can’t say that I like you back in that way.” 

“I understand.” Jaemin nods his head frantically. Sure, some part of him did wish for Jeno to reciprocate his feelings, but Jaemin knows that will never happen. He’s glad, though, that Jeno’s taking this so well. “Don’t change, please.” 

“I won’t.” Jeno brings a hand up and pats Jaemin’s dishevelled hair down. He tucks a few stray strands flat and grins while doing so. “I won’t, so don’t worry. Take your time, okay?” 

“I love you,” Jaemin mumbles, loud and clear.

He means this as a friend to a friend. Regardless of the fact that he’s falling in love with Jeno, he will always love his best friend. Jaemin wants Jeno to know that his love as Jeno’s special friend far exceeds any other. 

“I love you, too, Jaemin.” Jeno wipes another stray tear away as delicately as he can. And he means this, too, as a friend to a friend, because he knows he’ll never get another one like Jaemin. “Now stop crying, okay? You look ugly.”

Jaemin bursts into a fit of giggles. Jeno kept his word and didn’t treat Jaemin any different. And for that, he falls a little deeper.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Not even a week after the confession, they’re scheduled to leave for NCT Life. It’s a good opportunity for Jaemin to forget everything and take a break with the kids. The stress from practising day in and day out, Jeno in all of his mighty glory, and Donghyuck’s frequent rants about Mark has all weighed Jaemin down like never before. He takes this trip as a getaway from reality.

Of course, he might have shed the stress of practising and Donghyuck off of his shoulders, but Jeno’s existence still proves that Jaemin can’t get everything he wants. They still stick together throughout most schedules, and Jaemin doesn’t doubt that it’ll be the same for this trip.

Everything goes smoothly until they reach the location. Immediately, it’s time to eat. They all spend quite some time to pick out the dishes they want and when a surprise game reveals itself, Jaemin does horribly at it. He pretends as if it doesn’t bother him that he doesn’t get to eat beef but he doesn’t dwell on it.

“Here,” Jeno, on his right, mutters to him. 

Jaemin looks and sees Jeno holding a piece of meat to him. It’s so smart of him to offer Jaemin a bite while the recording is paused to change the cameras’ batteries. Jaemin’s heart warms and a grin instantly spreads far up his lips. It reaches from ear to ear with how wide he’s smiling. He’s happy. Jaemin opens his mouth up as Jeno feeds the beef to him.

“Thanks, baby,” Jaemin muffles out through a mouthful of food. 

The only thing he’s still unhappy with is the hiccups he’s having. His body jolts every few seconds because of it and it even makes him emit a few weird sounds. Him twitching gets annoying after a while but with how Jeno laughs every time it happens, Jaemin can’t find it in him to wish the hiccups away. 

They move on and they end up at a zipline-ish ride. When it’s Jaemin’s turn to fasten up and complete a game, Jeno by the side tells him to go safely. Jaemin doesn’t know what prompted him to do it but he winks at Jeno. 

It gets worse, don’t worry, because Jaemin throws in kissy faces at Jeno. The latter acts panicked, pretends like Jaemin’s behaviour is uncalled for, but he’s laughing along. He knows exactly what Jaemin feels for him and doesn’t think of Jaemin’s flirty actions as unexpected. 

“I’ll get back safely, babies,” Jaemin is talking to solely Jeno, but he sees Chenle in the corner of his eyes and pretends as if the younger one is included too. 

Right before he’s supposed to be pushed off, Jeno leans in over the railing and murmurs in a low tone, “Enjoy yourself, kitty.” 

Jaemin doesn’t think the butterflies in him would stop fluttering about for the next few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so? how was chapter 3? i love this one the most, and i loved writing it because i feel like jaemin crying while confessing and jeno comforting him isnt very ooc. i wanna sneak in some more donghyuck x jeno moments because theyre best friends but idk if it'll fit skdkskdk anyway thank u again for leaving kudos already 🥺
> 
> im gonna be real and say the progression of nomins relationship in this one isnt very climactic. its more focused on jaemin's character??? if it makes sense. like, this is a story about jaemin who realises hes gay and happens to fall in love with his best friend, unlike a dramatic storyline. but if ure into that drama i am working on a very dramatic nomin oneshot hehe 
> 
> anyway; hope u enjoyed!  
> my [IG](https://www.instagram.com/warmdaelight/) | [TWT](https://twitter.com/jenoryy)  
> 


	4. Trouble #Jeno actually seems okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little sad times for jaemin but it will only be in this chapter dont worry. enjoy~

As 127 gets ready for Punch, Donghyuck calls Jeno and Jaemin more frequently to talk about Mark. Donghyuck tells them how flustered Mark was when he showed off his purple hair. It’s great that Mark’s showing more signs that supports Donghyuck’s almost crazy theory a few months back, but it’s not great because every time he calls, Jaemin and Jeno have to huddle together on Jeno’s bed. 

If Jaemin is caught talking to Donghyuck by Jisung, that will cost him a lot of questions he doesn’t want to answer. Therefore, they use Jeno’s room as a safe haven from Donghyuck and his warranted secrecy. 

“Hyuck, why don’t you just come up with something that would like, you know, expose him?” Jeno suggests. 

“I don’t think Mark’s that dumb to put himself out there,” Donghyuck counters.

“You may never know. Maybe he’s being more physical with you because he wants you to know? Maybe he’ll take that chance to make it obvious?” Jeno suggests, voice tentative. “Just try it, there’s nothing to lose.” 

“Easy for you to say. Try to understand my situation here, okay? I don’t know if I like him in that way yet. I don’t. And I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to pretend like I don’t know either because that’ll hurt me. Imagine if it was Jaemin who’s in love with you? Huh?” They don’t respond only because it’s a sensitive topic. Donghyuck doesn’t know it, but he’s just treaded upon dangerous waters. Jeno looks up at Jaemin with wide eyes, mouth hanging slightly agape. “What would you do, Jeno?”

“It’s better if I know,” Jeno mumbles.

“Why?” Donghyuck asks again. “Even if you don’t like him back? That’ll only make you sad too because I know you wouldn’t want to see him get hurt.” 

Jaemin pulls away from the conversation. It’s too much for him to stay and listen to Jeno’s response. He’s been living in a delusional fantasy made up of false pretences, of Jeno treating him just like before, of him thinking he can get over Jeno. Jaemin has been living a lie, thinking that with every day that passes, Jeno would start looking at him differently.

He looks back at the closed door to Jeno’s room and thinks it’s ironic. He can always go in, he can always lay on the bed with Jeno and talk about anything and everything, but at the end of every day, he would still have to leave. 

Jaemin sighs and presses an ear to Jeno’s door, listening in.

“I want to know. If Jaemin was in love with me, I would want to know. I wouldn’t want him to face it alone.” Jeno sighs. “Hyuck, I love Jaemin with all of my heart. The three of us plus Mark and Jisung have been together for a long time. Jaemin, especially, because we started out together. Fuck, I really don’t want him to face this alone.” 

Donghyuck’s croaky voice over the phone comes through a little muffled as Jaemin’s listening behind a closed door, “Sounds to me like you’re the one who’s in love with him.”

Jaemin truly leaves after hearing that. He can’t and won’t take it. He’ll never let himself indulge in such dangerous delusions. Donghyuck was just saying that because it means nothing, he was just trying to lighten up the mood, and Jaemin knows. He knows that. But staying any longer will be dangerous. 

“Fuck,” Jaemin mumbles into his pillow after he free falls onto his bed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin is busy cooking something in the kitchen when Jeno comes trotting in. He stands by the side of the stove and stares with a small smile adorning his face. Jaemin pretends he’s not there, pretends he’s alone in the kitchen, and pretends that his heart didn’t just explode in his chest. His entire being tingles when Jeno moves closer.

“Yes? Is there anything I can help you with?” Jaemin says, tone low and voice soft. 

“I have something to tell you,” Jeno whisper-shouts, face all smiley and demeanour all happy. Jaemin wonders what happened.

“What?” Jaemin casually asks.

“I made a reservation for that BBQ place we used to go to last time,” Jeno announces.

With the lack of better judgement, Jaemin frowns and questions, “You reserved a place when I already cooked? Do you want me to hurl hot oil at your pretty face?” 

An extremely boisterous laughter erupts from a calm and collected Jeno. He doubles over as he cackles, voice high pitched and face turning red as he does so. He shakes his head, tears welling up from the pain in his stomach.

“No, not today! This weekend,” Jeno says in between laughter.

“Oh,” Jaemin says calmly. Then, he widens his eyes. He leaves his fried rice to sizzle on the pan as he turns to Jeno with surprise. “Oh! That place we went to after we got scolded by Doyoung Hyung!” 

“Yeah!” Jeno nods.

“But why?” Jaemin turns back to cooking, gulping the uneasiness in his throat down. 

“You’ve been really down these days, right?” Jeno twitches his eyebrows up as he speaks, indicating that he knows Jaemin hasn’t been feeling good as of late. Jeno also knows it might be because of him. He wants to take responsibility for that. “I wanted to cheer you up is all.” 

Jaemin almost agrees to going but when he takes a proper look at Jeno, he sees the twinkle in his eyes, sees Jeno’s long bangs fall over his eyes, feels his breath hitching as he inhales. Jaemin doesn’t want Jeno to change, and it’s him who asked for it, but now he’s having second thoughts. 

Jeno has always been nice to him. Jeno will always treat him like he’s a tier above. Jaemin was wrong for asking Jeno to treat him like before, he can’t handle it now that he’s got it. 

“I don’t want to go.” Jaemin switches the stove off. 

“What?” Jeno asks, stunned. He didn’t think Jaemin would disagree.

“Jeno, I can’t.” Jaemin shakes his head, a forlorn smile finding its place upon his lips. He wants to go so badly, but spending even more time with Jeno alone unconsciously gives him some semblance of nonexistent hope. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, we can change the dates. No worries—”

“It’s not that.” Jaemin chuckles, finding it cute how Jeno doesn’t get what he means. “I think this isn’t working out.”

Jeno takes a step back. He holds the edge of the counter next to him as he steadies himself. Then, and only then, he gets the true meaning behind Jaemin’s words. His gaze drops to the floor where his feet are and calmly blinks in silence. 

“Are you…” Jeno mumbles, “Are you saying you want some space?” 

“Maybe,” Jaemin ponders for a while as he frowns. “I mean, yes. Yes. I need some space.”

“For how long?” 

“I don’t know,” Jaemin breathes out. 

“What about in public?” Jeno asks, hoping to convince Jaemin against doing this. As much as he said he would do anything to help Jaemin, he doesn’t want anything between him and Jaemin to change. He’s afraid this would. “The fans would know.”

“When necessary, let’s act normal.” 

“Okay.” Jeno takes another step back, already distancing himself from Jaemin. “Okay, yeah, anything you want.” 

“I’m sorry, Jeno. Just a few weeks, maybe a month or two. Just give me some time, I’ll—”

“No, it’s fine, it’s fine.” Jeno waves his hands around, still avoiding Jaemin’s eyes. “You don’t have to be sorry.” 

Once Jeno leaves the kitchen, Jaemin doesn’t know why he feels extremely guilty for having done that. It was Jeno who said he could give him some space when needed, it was Jeno who told him to take his time. Now, though, why does Jaemin feel like it was he who rejected Jeno’s confession? 

Jaemin transfers the rice into a plate before sealing it to store it in the fridge. He was hungry a while ago, but now he’s more disappointed than anything else. A hollow sensation akin to sadness invades his mind, and now he’s wishing to lay in his mother’s comforting embrace. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin shuffles into his house about a week later when he finds an empty slot in his schedule and immediately sees his mother in the kitchen, cooking up something. He back-hugs her, leaning the side of his face against her back. He sighs. 

“You’re home,” his mother says with a smile. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jaemin quickly says in response. He doesn’t want his mother suspecting anything. 

“You can’t lie to me, little puppy,” Jaemin frowns at the name, more convinced that he acts like a cat instead of a dog after Jeno’s called him a cat a couple of times. 

“Mom,” Jaemin calls out.

Jaemin considers telling her about his sexual preference, but on such a good day like this, he doesn’t want to hurt her. She’d be disappointed in him, more than she has ever been. He already can’t handle everything that’s been going on, he doesn’t need to add the weight of his mother’s disappointment on top of all that. 

“What is it?” 

“One of my old friends from High School told me that he’s gay.” Jaemin gulps. He takes a step back and leans against the wall instead of remaining in that hugging position from before. “I don’t know how to respond to him.” 

He doesn’t actually have any friends from High School that he still keeps in contact with. There’s only his members like Mark, Jeno, and Donghyuck but everyone else he wasn't even close with in the first place. He’s only asking to see his mother’s reaction. 

“It’s up to you.” His mother shrugs, uncaring towards the issue Jaemin brought up.

“You don’t care?” Jaemin squeaks unbelievingly. 

“I don’t,” his mother laughs. “Unless it's my own son.” 

“Me?” Jaemin frowns.

“Yes, you. I don’t want you to believe in that kind of delusion. I know you’re smart enough to steer yourself away from that.” 

The room seems so suffocating all of a sudden, like it’s pressing down directly on Jaemin’s two lungs. He heaves a deep breath in, trying to regulate the flow of air entering and leaving his body before it goes haywire. When his mother turns back, all she sees is her son deep in thought. She thinks he’s agreed with her words when he smiles and nods her way absentmindedly. 

He came here because he wanted to lay in her embrace and escape from his thoughts about Jeno, about liking men, about his fear of being shunned from society’s norms. He wanted to find solace in her words and her hands combing through his hair. Jaemin couldn’t have seen this coming instead. He has always been her little darling, but this time he finds himself hating it. 

What hurts her, hurts him. He’s been such a good son. He follows her to charity work, he submits donations in his and her name. For years now, he’s respected his mother for being the kind soul that she is and he shows it. He shows his admiration for her. 

But now, he wishes for once that he was a fuck-up son that goes under the radars of his parents. He wishes he was some delinquent his parents had given up on. He wishes he had run away from home a few times, or gotten on his parents’ bad sides a few more. Maybe he should have caused some trouble so their expectations of him wouldn’t reach to heights he cannot reach. 

Jaemin’s phone goes off with a bunch of texts. Although it’s just the kids ganging up on Renjun in the group chat, Jaemin takes it as a chance to excuse himself.

“Mom, I thought I could stay but they’re calling me back. Something urgent came up.” Jaemin gives his mother a brief hug before heading towards the door straight away.

“Okay, take care of yourself. I love you.” His mother smiles and pats his back as an act of encouragement. Instead, it makes Jaemin want to throw up from the anxiety that spreads within him. 

“Hm, I love you too,” Jaemin forces out. 

He hails a cab by the side of the road, tears stinging the back of his eyes. In his head, all he thinks about is laying in Jeno’s arms, hearing Jeno’s low voice console him through a set of tears. He wishes to drown himself in a delusion that fools him into thinking that he’s safe. For even if he knows he’s not, Jaemin feels safest with Jeno by his side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaa because at the end of the day even if jaemin has this inner turmoil of emotions regarding jeno, he still loves him simply because jeno is his best friend. jaemin loving jeno comes before jaemin being in love with jeno. im rlly a sucker for best friends to lovers because some fics portray it as like a trouble cos u dont wanna lose a friendship or smth like that but what i believe is if theyre rlly ur best friend, ur friendship should be strong enough to overcome anything. 
> 
> hehehe im writing up a new nomin fic in which jeno is awarded 24 hours to visit the past him and he chooses to go back to when hes 18yo, the night before hes about to leave for college to spend time with jaemin and correct his fate. fjdjjdj but idk when it'll finish but do stay tuned! 
> 
> do tell me what u think of this story so far! this is almost ending heheh  
> my [IG](https://www.instagram.com/warmdaelight/) | [TWT](https://twitter.com/jenoryy)  
> 


	5. Trouble #Jeno is actually not a trouble at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are u ready kids? u should be

Coming back home was a chore. Throughout the whole ride, Jaemin can’t stop thinking about his mother’s words. He sees the cab driver and thinks of how he’d probably be kicked out of the car if he said he was gay. Jaemin sees teenage kids crossing the road at an intersection and can’t help but think how some of them might have feelings for their same-sex friends. That could happen and they’d be forced to cry themselves to sleep sometimes. 

He feels the weight of homophobia the general population has by default on his shoulders. The realisation drains him of all the energy left in him until the ride comes to a stop outside the building. 

Jaemin pays the fare and tumbles out of the car. He ignores a few suspicious girls by the side, knowing they’re just another group of stalkers. Once he’s ridden the lift up and is toeing his shoes off by the door, he feels like collapsing. 

“You came back early,” Renjun says as he sees Jaemin walking in. 

“Yeah,” Jaemin mumbles with a nod.

Sensing the mood Jaemin’s in, Renjun doesn’t push any further for answers. He’s gotten on the bad side of Jaemin once and he was fairly surprised such a sweet person could be so venomous with his words.

“Jeno bought ice cream. It’s in the fridge.” Renjun points to the kitchen before gesturing to the ice cream in his hand. “Your favourite is in there too.” 

“Where is he?” Jaemin asks, tone light and mildly demanding. 

“In his room,” Renjun provides.

Jaemin nods his head a thanks before shuffling to Jeno’s room. He gives it a few knocks but doesn’t wait to enter right away. Jeno shoots his head up from looking at his phone, wide-eyed and genuinely surprised.

It has only been a few days since Jaemin asked for space, but here he is, on the verge of breaking down in Jeno’s room. He comes crawling back like a hypocrite, but he can’t be bothered anymore about the dos and don’ts. Jaemin sees Jeno put his phone down to the side and thinks; “yes, this is my best friend.” 

Jeno, in all of his glory, is the only one who could understand Jaemin in and out. He’s the only one who would make up a bad pun as a response to Jaemin coming out. He’s the only one who would wholeheartedly accept Jaemin after being confessed to.

“Come.” Jeno pats the free space next to him on the bed, beckoning Jaemin over. 

Jaemin’s walls collapse. He breaks down as soon as Jeno speaks to him. It’s unlike the last time he cried as he confessed because this time, he’s almost hyperventilating, he’s hiccuping, he’s dragging painful breaths in and shaky breaths out. Jeno leads him closer by the hands and lays Jaemin down gently next to him. He shushes Jaemin who’s trying to explain everything all at once. 

“Take your time,” Jeno tells him, voice softening into a low bass, “I’ll still be here.” 

“I d-do-don’t,” Jaemin hiccups, “w-want to—don’t want to b-b-be ga-gay.” 

In extremely simple terms, Jaemin is crying like a child who has had to watch his parents leave him before his very eyes. He cries as if everyone in the world disappeared off of the face of Earth. Jaemin pays extra attention to the sensation on the back of his head where Jeno’s caressing him. He listens for Jeno’s hum that tells him he understands.

“My M-Mom—” Jaemin wails when he gets to talking about his mother.

“Ssh…” Jeno shushes him again now that he understands the gist of the story. 

He presses Jaemin close and lets his special friend cry his heart out. Jeno doesn’t mind that his shirt’s getting wet, or that he’s forced to shift dangerously close near the edge of the bed. If he could, he would solve all of Jaemin’s problems with a snap of his finger. If only he had the power to do so. 

If only he had the power to do anything he wants, he’d make sure Jaemin’s safe. He’d make sure the world conforms to Jaemin’s will and orders. Jeno would give the world to have Jaemin happy again. 

Jeno and Jaemin spend the next half an hour—plus-minus—just as so with Jeno calming Jaemin down. As soon as Jaemin’s tears are wiped dry, Jeno attempts to pull them up in a sitting position until he hears soft snores coming from Jaemin. 

He titters, shaking his head out of goodwill before peeling himself out of bed and away from Jaemin. He tucks his special friend under the covers before brushing his hair back. Jeno stares. He stares down at Jaemin’s small nose, at his small lips, at his closed eyes, at his small ears, and a squirming sensation bursts in his chest.

Jeno leans in, pressing a soft kiss on the side of Jaemin’s temple before he leaves his room.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaemin wakes up a few hours later in a daze. He sits up on Jeno’s bed and scoffs when he remembers what happened before he passed out. He swings his legs out of the bed and wobbles out the door. 

Outside, the living room lights are switched off, only leaving the kitchen lights on to dimly illuminate the house. Jaemin heads for the fridge straight away to pour himself a glass of water. There are noises coming from his room, and it’s probably Jisung and Renjun playing around. It leaves him questioning where Jeno is.

Deciding not to look for Jeno first, Jaemin reaches for his favourite ice cream in the fridge. He hums happily after the first taste, heading to the window to stare at the city lights out of pure habit. 

“Oh, hey, Hyung!” 

Jaemin whips around as his heart almost jumps out of his chest. “Jisung! A little warning next time, please?” 

“Sorry!” Jisung cackles. “What are you doing?” 

“Contemplating life,” Jaemin, who’s fully ready to spend the rest of the night drowning in angst, answers monotonously. 

“Well, if you’re done with contemplating life you should call Jeno Hyung and ask him to buy food on his way back home. Renjun Hyung ordered food while you were asleep and we finished it all.” Jisung snatches an ice cream from the fridge, ripping the wrapper open straight away. “Unless you want to cook.” 

Jaemin does just that. He sends Jeno a text to buy him food, says that he feels like eating fish and doesn’t leave Jeno any room to say no. He feels bad that he’s been demanding everything to go his way, especially with Jeno, but Jaemin makes a mental note to return the favour in the future. 

He switches the television on and plays a comedy drama to ease his mind off of his recent problems. Sure enough, about two and a half episodes in, the door opens and in comes Jeno. He’s carrying two packets of food, presumably for Jaemin and himself. 

“Hey,” Jaemin greets him, smiling softly. He doesn’t know how else to act around Jeno, but he can’t find it in him to care anymore. He’s exhausted from this. “Thank you.”

Jeno hands him the food with a similar smile gracing his exquisite features. Jaemin sets the food up at the dining table while Jeno drops his things in his room. 

“Mine is the one with cucumbers,” Jeno says as he saunters to the seat next to Jaemin. The chair scrapes against the floor as he drags it out before plopping on it. 

“Where did you go?” Jaemin asks out of curiosity. He takes the first bite out of his food, humming appreciatively at the taste. 

“I went out to meet Donghyuck,” Jeno says. He rolls the sleeves of his hoodie up to his elbows and begins eating.

“Is he okay?” Jaemin thinks of Mark and wonders if they’re doing fine. He certainly isn’t alright even with Jeno this supportive of him. 

“He’s fine, you don’t have to worry about him.” Jeno waves Jaemin’s concern for Donghyuck away. Instead, he directs it right back to Jaemin. “What about you? Feeling better?”

“Yeah, the nap helped,” Jaemin admits. “I’m sorry, Jeno, I know I said—”

“How many times do I have to say you don’t have to be sorry?” Jeno cuts in, scoffing out of frustration at Jaemin blaming himself again. 

“Sorry,” Jaemin says again out of habit before sputtering. “I mean, okay! Okay. Not sorry.” 

“Jaemin, I talked to Donghyuck just now, and told him about us.” Jeno sets his cutleries down and twists his body to face Jaemin instead, pouring his whole attention to what he’s about to say. “I told him how you scared me so much.”

“What?” Jaemin’s mouth slows down with the chewing. He swallows whatever food that’s left in his mouth and waits for Jeno’s explanation.

“When you started crying like that, it scared me so much. I didn’t know what to do or say, and it scared me seeing you like that. I don’t know why but I felt like I lost you, and that was terrifying.” Jeno shakes his head at the memory, squeezing his eyes close for a second or two to wish the feeling of fear away. “Can you wait for me, Jaemin?” 

“Wait for you?” Jaemin tilts his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Wait for me. Wait till I fall for you too.” Jeno tips his glasses up his nose bridge, pursing his lips into a grim line. Jaemin’s face morphs from confusion into unadulterated shock. “Yes, I like you, Na Jaemin.” 

“What—Jeno if this is—if you’re only saying this because you pity me then save your breath because I’ll—I will not forgive you. I won’t forgive you for telling me this if it’s only you trying to be a good friend again.” Jaemin’s about to stand up but Jeno takes his hand and squeezes it comfortingly.

“If I’m only doing this to be a good friend, tell me why do I feel this protective of you? Tell me, why do I get pissed when you pay more attention to Jisung? Tell me, why was I genuinely happy when you confessed to me?” Jeno guides Jaemin back down to sit. “I’ve been friends with Donghyuck just as long, but why don’t I feel any of this when I’m with him?”

“Because I’m your special friend. We started together. That’s all,” Jaemin tries to counter with a seemingly permanent frown on his face. “You don’t show me signs of liking me back and all of a sudden you tell me this? Do you think I’m dumb?”

“Not showing signs? Do you think I give the other members pet names like Kitty? Do you think I treat them the same as I treat you?” Jeno stands up. He hovers over Jaemin, getting closer. “When I look at them, do you think I think of kissing them? This is so frustrating.” 

Jaemin breaks out into a fit of laughter, now convinced Jeno’s genuine with his words. He wouldn’t have said this much if he wasn’t. Jeno rarely voices out words like these. “Jeno Lee, I didn’t know you were this sappy.”

“Shut the fuck up. This is all your fault.” Jeno rolls his eyes as he goes back to eating. He’s barreled through Jaemin’s doubt, there’s nothing stopping him now. “Do you think they heard our conversation?”

“You were pretty loud, baby. I think they know you call me Kitty by now.” Jaemin glances at the door to his and Jisung’s room, noticing how quiet it has gotten. “Yeah, I bet they’re still listening.” 

Jaemin clears his throat, picking up his phone to dial Renjun’s number. After a single ring, Renjun picks up the call. Jeno leans over and says, “You can come out now.”

The door swings open with a creak. A moment later, Jisung and Renjun inch out warily. Renjun clears his throat much like how Jaemin did before, “I didn’t know you guys were into guys.”

“I’m pansexual,” Jeno announces. 

“Well, there we go.” Jaemin sighs. “I’m gay.” 

“What’s pansexual?” Jisung asks.

“Uneducated swine,” Renjun scolds him, swatting the back of his head. “It means he doesn’t care about gender and all that bullshit. He likes whoever he likes, end of story.” 

“Oh!” Jisung pauses. “That’s new. It’s interesting. I’ll search up more later.”

“Don’t bother, you het,” Renjun spits out. 

“What’s a het?” Jisung asks again.

“Heterosexual,” Jeno provides as an answer.

“Aren’t you a het too, then?” Jisung accusingly points at Renjun, seemingly affronted. 

“I’m an educated ally, don’t lump me with the other hets like you.” 

Jaemin sighs again, the front of his head starting to throb because of the noise. He’s happy, though, that his friends are okay with him. At least he has that. Jaemin turns and looks at Jeno, meeting the latter’s eyes. Jeno smiles, and so does Jaemin. 

He has Jeno too.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“You don’t want to watch a movie with me?” Jeno pouts. 

“Ew, look at you. One confession is all it takes for you to act so sappy.” Jaemin accuses him, snorting when Jeno drops his cute act and scowls instead. “Wow! Duality!”

“Na Jaemin, you’re a piece of work, you know that?” Jeno asks with an eyebrow twitched up to the roof, unamused. 

“It’s okay. You can call me annoying, I don’t mind.” Jaemin laughs, finding it endearing how Jeno doesn’t call him annoying in the end and only laughs the matter away.

“Tell me honestly, Kitty, what are we?” Jeno leans closer, pressing Jaemin against the side of the couch as he does so. He doesn’t stop, only shifting to fully lay on Jaemin. 

“Hmm,” Jaemin hums. Up close like this, he traces each of Jeno’s features with his gaze. He drags his piercing stare down to Jeno’s lips before giving him a chaste kiss. “You have to fall for me first before we can determine that.”

“Keep kissing me like that,” Jeno leans closer, lips hovering over lips, before the corner of his mouth twitch up into a smirk, “and I might just fall for you even faster.” 

“Why do you like me?” Jaemin whispers, liking the sensation of his lips slightly grazing against Jeno’s. “And when did you realise?” 

“Is this a trick question?” Jeno chuckles. “I like everything about you. I like you. It’s as simple as that. As of now, I can’t think of a single person who could make me feel this… weird.” 

“Weird?” Jaemin pulls back, frowning. 

“In a good way!” Jeno’s quick to explain himself. “You know, like, on the inside. It feels weird. I don’t know, but it’s good.”

“And as for when?” Jaemin tries his very best to suppress a wide smile but fails when Jeno hides his face on his chest. “When? Huh? When I cried?”

“When you told me you needed space…” Jeno trails off for a moment or two before recollecting himself. “For some reason, I felt dejected. It felt like you didn’t want me in your life again, and it made me rethink everything that transpired between us.” 

Jaemin titters. This answer is to his satisfaction so he lets the matter pass by. Now, what’s left is to indulge in each other’s presences and steadily fall. No one can tell them no, no one will stop them. When the time comes—when Jaemin can confidently say their feelings towards each other are mutual—that’ll be Jaemin’s cue to call Jeno his boyfriend. 

“I love you, Jeno.” And Jaemin still means it as a friend to a friend, because they’ll still love each other just the same. Whether or not this works out between them, they’ll still be each other’s special friend. 

“I love you, too, Jaemin.” Jeno grins. 

For now, they’re only for each other, exclusive, but it won’t be long till Jeno falls head over heels for Jaemin’s charm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeno: im falling in love with u  
> jaemin: prove it  
> jeno: i call u kitty  
> jaemin:  
> jeno: kith kith  
> jaemin:  
> jaemin:  
> jaemin:  
> jaemin: i'll take it 
> 
> //
> 
> there we go,,, so like i said before, there rlly isnt any drama that leads them to this, its just natural. jeno has always loved jaemin a little more anyway, and this chain of events made that love evolve just a little. there is one last chapter left and im rlly not sure if i should change the rating but i'll just leave it for the meantime heheheh
> 
> renjun calling himself an ally and calling jisung a het is big canon energy like he'd say that in real life jdjwjsjdj
> 
> thank u kids for the kudos and the comments some of yall even made me laugh 😔✊🏽 hmu and clown with me babes  
> my [IG](https://www.instagram.com/warmdaelight/) | [TWT](https://twitter.com/jenoryy)  
> 


	6. no Trouble, all is well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEEEHEHEHEHE i think this much of kissing isnt enough to change the rating to Mature, right?

Jeno and Jaemin’s exclusive relationship which tips around the line of calling each other boyfriends goes on for a week or so. And it’s nice, because they’re comfortably basking in each other’s presence without the burden of labelling themselves. Jaemin knows that when the day comes where he does want to put a label on them, Jeno would gladly agree.

The sounds of the television blaring through the speakers wakes Jaemin up too early in the day. He reaches for his phone and sees the text messages in the group chat, all of the kids ganging up on Renjun once again, and laughs at their antics. He shuffles out of his room and blearily blinks at Jisung’s innocent figure huddled on the couch.

“Hyung, I didn’t know Hyun Soo-ah had such a terrible backstory. People at school bullied her and her family hates her!” Jisung spoons cereal and milk into his mouth after spoiling such crucial information about the show to Jaemin. 

“Park Jisung, I haven’t watched it!” Jaemin ruffles his hair up as violently as he can since he can’t beat Jisung up. “Why did you tell me?” 

“Calm down, homo,” Renjun says in passing. 

“Shut the fuck up, hetero,” Jaemin shoots back in a biting tone.

It’s become a routine for Renjun and Jaemin to quarrel back and forth by calling each other by their sexual preferences. It would be a little extreme if others weren’t part of their group of friends. Jaemin then freezes when he meets Donghyuck’s gaze once he turns.

“Well,” Jaemin starts off, shying away from the thought that Donghyuck just found out he’s gay. “Are you homo too?”

“Yes,” Donghyuck nods. “I mean, no. Well, bi?”

“Just say you’re in love with Mark and go, idiot,” Jeno says as he walks past Donghyuck, swatting the back of his head too. Donghyuck yelps as he does so. 

“How come you’re awake?” Jaemin looks at Jeno with a frown.

“Why wouldn’t I be awake?” Jeno looks confused.

“How come you’re here?” Jaemin points at Donghyuck.

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” Donghyuck points at himself. 

Jaemin buries his face in his hands, getting more and more frustrated when his questions are left unanswered. He sighs as he turns around. “I’m going back to bed. Jisung, turn the volume down, please. Thanks.”

He heads for Jeno’s room straight away, ignoring Jeno’s confused questions asking why he’d go to his room. Donghyuck laughs at the side while Renjun ignores everyone in favour of talking to Chenle on the phone. It’s a busy day today, and everyone’s suspiciously cheerful. Jaemin doesn’t know why—doesn’t want to know why—until after he gets enough sleep.

After lying motionlessly for a few minutes, Jeno comes into the room and decisively dives onto the bed even if Jaemin’s already on it. From the impact of Jeno’s fall, Jaemin breaks out into a coughing fit. 

“Jeno, what the fuck?” Jaemin wheezes out.

“You look so comfortable, I couldn’t not make you suffer,” Jeno says with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Fuck you,” Jaemin spits out.

“If you insist.” Jeno wiggles his eyebrows suggestively as Jaemin stares at him in mild horror. “I’m just kidding. Well, half kidding. Anyway, come out, please? Donghyuck has some news for us.”

“He can tell me later in private. Let me sleep.” Jaemin groans, waving Jeno away.

“If you don’t get up, I’ll make you get up,” Jeno threatens. 

“What are you going to do, pretty boy? Huh? You gonna—” Jaemin gets cut off by Jeno’s insistent hands jabbing into his waist, making him squawk when he’s tickled. “Jeno!” 

“Get up,” Jeno says in between giggles. His evil grin doesn’t let up.

“Jeno, please, okay, okay!” Jaemin wraps his arms around Jeno, trapping his arms so he couldn’t tickle him anymore. He doesn’t expect it when Jeno resorts to kisses instead. “You’re so annoying!”

“Am I really?” Jeno asks although he knows the answer to that already. He goes back to kissing along Jaemin's jawline. “You’re not saying no to this, are you? Let’s see if you can go back to sleep after I’m done.” 

“Fuck you,” Jaemin curses again.

“Only if you want to,” Jeno teases.

“This went from PG13 to M18 real quick,” Jaemin says with a chuckle. 

“I can make it R21 if you want,” Jeno suggests, smiling as if he didn’t just think of things Jaemin wouldn’t even dare to picture. 

“We just turned 21, Lee Jeno. Stop clowning.” Jaemin rolls his eyes. That’s when Jeno kisses down to his neck, to a specific spot that makes his eyes widen. “Woah, you’re really not clowning. That felt good. Kind of tingly.”

“It did?” Jeno asks. “Now are you awake?”

“Yes, but you’re going to have to do that again later.” 

“Gladly,” Jeno whispers, planting another kiss but this time on Jaemin’s lips.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Donghyuck screeches in excitement, hopping around with Jaemin who smothers him with smooches of pride. They bump into Jisung who scurries out of their way in a flash. Chenle’s there too, smiling up at the both of them from where he’s sitting on the couch.

“Congratulations!” Jaemin screams, excited. “Did you confess first?” 

“Of course?” Donghyuck snorts. “You think Mark Lee would confess first? You put too much hope in him then.” 

“Ha!” Jaemin jabs a finger in Jeno’s face, proud that he won the bet. Jeno promptly bites on his finger. “Ow, what the fuck?”

“You won the bet, so what?” Jeno cocks an eyebrow up, folding his arms across his chest.

“You guys were betting?” Donghyuck chimes in.

Ignoring him, Jaemin shoots back at Jeno an affronted, “So what? What do you mean so what? I won the bet, you owe me a favour then.”

“Fine,” Jeno relents, grumbling under his breath. 

Jaemin drags Donghyuck into his room, asking for details so he could coo over his friends as a pair. He shoots Jeno a warning look before he closes the door, reminding him about the favour Jeno owes him. In response, Jeno stares right back in silence, shaking his head out of goodwill.

“Jaemin, what the fuck?” Donghyuck unexpectedly starts first. Jaemin thought this was about the bet, but Donghyuck does a few vague gestures with his hands before Jaemin figures he’s talking about his relationship with Jeno. 

“Fuck, I know, I should have told you first.” Jaemin curls up in himself on the bed, whimpering when Donghyuck lands a hard slap on his leg. “But Jeno was so nice about it.”

“Of course he was! You’re lucky you didn’t fall in love with Mark because that’s going to be one hell of an awkward response to your confession.” 

“Was his response awkward?” Jaemin asks, cocking an eyebrow up.

“He cried,” Donghyuck deadpans.

Jaemin bursts out cackling. “You guys are so dramatic. Jeno only told me to wait for him and when I didn’t believe him, he pointed out the special treatment I get from him and that’s it.”

“Hey, you cried while confessing.” Donghyuck titters.

“Okay, that was not my fault. Do you know how nerve-wracking confessing to a close friend of yours could be?” 

“Trust me, I know,” Donghyuck says with a sigh. He drops onto the bed next to Jaemin and stares up at the ceiling in silence.

“It’ll be okay,” Jaemin voices out.

It will be okay. Jaemin is only reminding Donghyuck that even if he and Mark don’t work out in the end, they’ll still be good friends. Likewise, Jaemin has nothing to worry about with his and Jeno’s situation. It’s not something to be ashamed of, it’s nothing to be worried about either. 

“Are you going to ever tell your Mom?” Donghyuck asks, voice softer than before now that he’s approaching a dangerous topic. 

One wrong word and Jaemin might snap or break down right then and there. Honestly, with Jaemin’s temperament, there’s no telling which it would be. Donghyuck’s not very good with handling Jaemin’s varying moods—that’s Jeno’s job—but he knows Jaemin enjoys a good talk. Donghyuck’s only trying to talk. 

“I don’t think so.” Jaemin shakes his head. A moment later, he shifts on his side to face Donghyuck and snuggles closer to his friend. “I’m scared, Donghyuck.”

“Never?” Donghyuck tries again, wanting to confirm just how bad Jaemin’s mother’s disapproval is without having to directly ask. He brings a hand up and caresses Jaemin’s hair. 

“Not at all,” Jaemin whispers, “It just isn't worth it.”

“I told my Mom,” Donghyuck smooths Jaemin’s hair down, “and she’s okay with it. Supportive even.”

“That’s really good!” Jaemin grins. Although a part of him wishes he could have that instead, another part of him is genuinely happy for Donghyuck. “Seriously, that’s really, really good.”

“If you ever need someone to give you hugs once in a while, she’ll always be there for you.” Donghyuck smiles. “My Mom asks more about you guys than me anyway. You guys are practically her sons.” 

In simpler words, Donghyuck’s telling him that if he ever needs a motherly figure to console him, his Mom could do the job. It’s not uncommon. Jaemin has read stories online about how people’s friends’ parents took them in after being kicked out of their own homes because of their sexuality. What Donghyuck’s offering here is a safe haven, a shelter, emotional support. 

“That’ll be incest then,” Jaemin points out, grimacing.

“Don’t ruin the moment, dude,” Donghyuck whines. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Jaemin giggles. “I meant, thank you.”

“She loves having you guys around so it’s okay if you want to stop by.” Donghyuck hugs Jaemin closer. “You’re always acting like Jisung’s Mom, so now let someone else baby you.” 

“If you think that’s going to stop me from wanting to hug all you to death, you’re wrong.” Jaemin snorts. “You are all still my babies.”

“Careful, we don’t want Bodyguard Lee to get jealous. I bet he’s been standing outside the door the whole time.” Donghyuck glares at the door, looking down at the shadows twitching through the gap underneath. 

“If he is, I’m going to have to reconsider making it official with him,” Jaemin threatens, knowing full well that Jeno really is standing outside the door, eavesdropping. 

Not even a second later, there’s a scurry of movements outside, a sound of a crash a little further away, and Jisung screaming “Jeno Hyung!” loud enough for the two inside the room to hear. Donghyuck chuckles at Jaemin’s look of incredulity. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“So, what favour do I owe you?” Jeno brings up the question when they’re squeezed together on Jeno’s bed after finishing a whole movie shown on Jeno’s laptop. “You’re not going to tell me to, like, run downstairs half-naked or something, right? ‘Cause the stalker fans haven’t left and I’m not wearing my good underwear today—” 

“My goodness, shut up,” Jaemin cuts in, laughing. “I didn’t need to know that.” 

“What do you want me to do for you, Your Royal Highness, Prince Na Jaemin of—will it be insulting to the House of Yi if I call you the Prince of South Korea?” Jeno tilts his head, making a weird sound due to his muddled thoughts regarding South Korea’s royal family. He hesitates on his words for a second or two before shaking the thought away completely. “Simply, My Prince.”

“Wow, such a sweet talker.” Jaemin chuckles. “And, yes, I think you could get fined at the very least if you disgrace the House of Yi’s name like that.” 

“Whatever, just tell me what you want.” Jeno smiles. He gets up from the bed to put away his laptop to the side. He cleans the mess of plastic wrappers and empty bottles of sodas around his bed, wiping the top of his desk too while he’s at it. 

“I’ll think about that later.” Jaemin figures it’s not a hurry at all to claim that favour from Jeno. He doesn’t particularly have anything he wants right now, so it’s fine. 

Jaemin slouches in his spot, pouting because he has nothing better to do. Jeno takes a seat next to Jaemin once again, breathing out as he leans so close their noses are touching. Jaemin blinks, looking down at Jeno’s lips before dragging his gaze up to Jeno’s eyes. Their eyes connect for the longest time ever. They stare into each other’s orbs, unknowingly closing the distance little by little every second. 

At the very last second, when their lips brush up against each other’s, Jeno whispers, “Give me your consent, Kitty.”

“Kiss me, baby,” Jaemin whispers right back, almost smiling. 

Jeno doesn’t dive in right away, he lingers there, his lips hovering over Jaemin’s to build up the tension. As he presses them together in a slow, sensual pace, his hands snake up Jaemin’s sides. His left hand rests on Jaemin’s waist while the other goes to the back of Jaemin’s neck. They’re closer like that, in a much more comfortable position now that their bodies are positioned to align one another perfectly. 

Jeno gently nips on Jaemin’s lower lip, trying to gauge his reaction to it. Jaemin likes it, and he unknowingly shows it by leaning in even more, letting Jeno lead at his own pace. On the other hand, Jaemin is almost like a mess. He doesn’t know where to put his hands so he rests one on Jeno’s side and the other on Jeno’s thigh.

With their eyes closed, Jaemin feels the burn of Jeno’s hand on his waist pressing him even tighter. Jaemin’s starting to sweat already, the scorching heat he’s enveloped in getting too much. Jeno deepens the kiss even further when his right hand inches up before burying itself in Jaemin’s hair. With his tongue, Jeno probes Jaemin’s lips to part open.

Jeno tugs on Jaemin’s hair then, just a tad, and the latter makes a sound close to a grunt, making the tension go way higher than it already is. They break away. Jeno leans a few centimetres back and stares into Jaemin’s hazy eyes. 

“How the fuck are you this good already? Who did you kiss to be this good?” Jaemin pants out. 

A small smile graces Jeno’s lips, so small Jaemin would have missed it if he wasn’t paying close attention. Instead of responding, Jeno starts to plant light, airy kisses along Jaemin’s jawline, up to his ears. There, Jeno gently nibbles on his earlobe.

Jaemin doesn’t expect that. He flinches from the tingles attacking him and unintentionally squeezes Jeno’s thigh. Now it’s Jeno who lets out a low noise, similar to a groan. Problem is, Jeno’s positioned right by Jaemin’s ear, and the sound makes him feel a lot more than he expected to be bombarded with. 

“Jeno—”

“I’m in love with you,” Jeno whispers next to Jaemin’s ears, sweetly, softly, like he’s proud of saying so. He then plants a little kiss on Jaemin’s ear. 

Jeno goes back to facing Jaemin, leaning back to see the look on Jaemin’s face. He expected shock, or maybe an extra set of tears, but what he sees is Jaemin grinning. 

“I’m in love with you, too,” Jaemin announces. 

Suddenly finding the urge to do so, Jaemin takes the lead. He kisses Jeno square on the lips, confident but careful. Boldly. He gives the same treatment he received to Jeno, but he sucks on Jeno’s upper and lower lip a lot longer, noticing the way his best friend’s grip on him tightens when he does so. 

It’s so perfect. It’s not the first time they’ve kissed, but it is the first time they’ve made out this long and went past just simple chaste kisses. They’re so in tuned, already picking up on what one another likes and it makes the kiss progress fast. This is essentially their first time making out with another human being but the fact that it’s them and no one else made them perfect kissers. 

Jaemin moves down to Jeno’s Adam’s apple which bobs when he swallows and lightly kisses it. Out of reflex, Jeno tips his head back to expose his neck. Jaemin proceeds to lightly run his tongue along Jeno’s Adam’s apple, proud that he’s made Jeno squirm from that one movement. He puts slight pressure on that very spot that made Jeno jitter and hears shaky pants coming from him. 

“How are you good at this too? I googled,” Jeno explains, revealing his secret to knowing his way around despite it being the first time for him.

Jaemin grins, inching close to Jeno’s ear before whispering, “I didn’t.”

Jeno glares. “Men are shit.”

“You’re a man too, you know?” Jaemin asks with his eyebrows crooked up. 

“I don’t care. Men are shit.” Jeno rolls his eyes. “My boyfriend is a man. How did this come to be?”

“Well, boyfriend,” Jaemin grins, “whether or not you think I’m shit, I’m pretty sure you don’t think my kissing skills are shit.” 

Jeno titters. He pulls Jaemin closer before resuming what they were doing. Just like before, they fall into a steady rhythm. No one’s fighting to take the lead, they naturally take turns whenever they see fit. And it’s nice. While Jeno’s gentler and more attentive to Jaemin’s reaction, Jaemin is bolder and assuming. 

“Hyung, I’ll be using your computer to—Holy shit! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Jisung barges into Jeno’s room, probably to use Jeno’s laptop for himself, but ends up seeing Jaemin and Jeno making out on the bed. He runs out of there in the speed of light but fails to close the door behind him. 

“Park Jisung!” Jaemin screams.

“As expected, men are shit.” Jeno nods to himself, as if confirming his thoughts. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didjjdjf i wrote the markhyuck kiss scene as clumsy and cute, romantic and honestly very markhyuck-like. then i wrote nomin's kiss scene very slow and sensual, perfect from the get-go and honestly very nomin-like. at least this fic's version of nomin. since the start jaem has been referring to jeno as perfect, so thats exactly how their first time making out would go like. 
> 
> also, while jeno's slow, steady, and more of cleverly gauging what jaemin likes, jaemin is bolder and more assuming, like he alrdy knows what jeno would like. it emphasises on my previous statement that nomin pays a lot of attention to each other. anywho, here are some facts and scenes i couldnt fit in cos fijfjfjfj; 
> 
> 1) NOMIN: *kisses*  
> JISUNG: hello, there are kids present 
> 
> 2) JENO: so jaem confessed to me the other day  
> HYUCK: oh thank god so yall dating?  
> JENO: what no?  
> HYUCK: why not? ure in love with him  
> JENO: i am?  
> HYUCK: of course you are.  
> JENO: of course i am. 
> 
> 3) unfortunately, calling jaemin kitty IS, in fact, NOT jeno's kink 😔 its supposed to be non-sexual dindjdjdf my friends said it sounds kinky but like guys kitty in korean is 냐옹이 (nya-ong-i) which is rlly cute ok
> 
> 4) DOYOUNG: what the fuck? do u know how risky dating is? huh? u wanna jeopardise ur career?  
> ALSO DOYOUNG: anyone who doesnt support my babies are homophobic and cancelled, i dont make the rules sorry
> 
> 5) NOT A FACT OR A SCENE REGARDING THIS STORY BUT WHO WANTS SOMEWHAT MORE DRAMATIC NOMIN ASSASSIN AU???? NO ONE? IM POSTING THE FIRST CHAPTER SOON IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS HEHE 
> 
> thassit folks. i really hope u enjoyed this story as much as i loved writing it uwu. thank u for the kudos (i alrdy got kudos since the first chapter thank u 😭) thank u for the comments (they make my day seriously, even the simple ones) 
> 
> hmu on my [IG](https://www.instagram.com/warmdaelight/) | [TWT](https://twitter.com/jenoryy)  
> if u want a friend dm me 🥺🥺🥺


End file.
